Review: Doritos Blaze

Yesterday, as I was perched behind my standing desk, heels kicked off, the beefy one stopped in.

The beefy one and I have a good dialogue, and my face rarely falls when I see his brightly colored attire appear at my doorway.

“Have you heard about Doritos Blaze?!” he said excitedly.

(Our “good dialogue,” to be sure, largely centers around food.)

“No,” I said. “But it sounds like something I should hear about.”

He went on to share that he’d spotted then yesterday on the shelves of the most massive local grocer, and that due to his 2018 chip ban (yup, he’s sticking with it), he couldn’t buy them. Or try them.

But I could.

Today, I did.

After running Six back to school (the massive blizzard yesterday caused beaucoup kindergarten complications), I swung into the nearby Walgreens to pick a ‘scrip. Happily, a “snack-size” (ha!), bright purple bag of Blazers was starin’ right at me as I scurried up to the counter. Snap! Quick like, it was in my hand. It’s technically food, people. It’s allowed!

I didn’t even make it all the way into my front seat before I was frantically tearing it open.

The chips were dark red with heavy seasoning and a Chalupa hot sauce aroma, promising both a tingly tongue and a horribly discolored French mani.

As I bit in, I was greeted with … garlic. Tomatoes. Jalapeño. Cilantro.


Yup. Pineapple.

I crunched a few more. It was deliciously familiar. Familiarly delicious.

Then, I pinpointed it. A half smile crept across my red-stained face.

Doritos Blaze taste just like the Thai fried rice from my favorite local Asian spot. It’s … crazy.

So good. So, so good!

Doritos Blaze. Thai fried rice – the kind with the big chunks of pineapple and the thinly sliced Thai chilis – in a chip.

Yes, they screwed up my nails and yes, they were worth it. Now, we return to our regularly scheduled diet.

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